Ok, you all know me pretty well by now. You know how much I love this internet thing… getting to show off for all the world and have an audience for my ever-expanding beliefs.

Can I say how much I hate it though?

Mom is having some really really weird DSL issues so she can’t use the internet at home. Everyday I hear her screaming at people on the phone about it. No one seems to be able to fix it (I bet I could fix it easier) and several of them have been foolish enough to hang up on her. Not a good idea, I can tell them that mom is pretty easy-going until you push her. Then all hell breaks loose and you were better off just doing what she wanted in the first place (or so I’ve heard).

So technically I won’t be up and fully operational until…. wait for it…. next Monday. You’ll probably hear of some violent deaths in the meantime in the Los Angeles area, don’t tell anyone, ok, but I’m pretty sure that will be mom taking out some unhelpful internet representatives. In the meantime, I’ve still been documenting my life as always, here’s a quick update on the last few days…

On Saturday (the day after the evil of the internet going down happened) mom’s car started making funny noises. So since she’s a girl, she thought, “hey, that means I must need an oil change” so off we went to our local EZ Lube. I watched the guys try valiantly to sell mom everything under the sun to go along with the lube-ing but she wasn’t biting. Then we had to go wait outside because I was a little too excited about all of the activity inside and indeed I was thinking about how I could get down into that grease pit.

Sunday started out with some “duck shopping”, uh, I mean some walking around the Echo Park lake. I was entranced with pigeons for some strange reason, and they formed this weird pigeon pyramid which just kind of freaked me out some more. Must try harder to bag one next time.

Later that day we went to Rally’s – it’s a burger joint with a Nascar theme – and needless to say, mom and dad aren’t Nascar fans but they make a mean burger and they’re cheap! So off we went, me stuffed into the back of a very hot car, to Rally’s.

See how bright the photos are? That’s how sunny it was, and damn that asphalt was hot. Had me doin’ a Dale dance.

Then I smelled it. At first I didn’t notice that mom had returned to the table holding a bag, I was just trying to catch some shadow. But slowly I turned…

A burger all for meeeeeeeee!

I even went for the bun – not to my usual taste, but today it was yummy.

So that should almost bring me back up-to-date… I miss all of my dog buddies, hope to be back at full force really soon.

Love,

Bogart

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Ok, while this looks hilarious (and I hope it doesn’t start some stupid trend), please don’t ever do this to me mom…

Love,

Bogart

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Happy Birthday to Me… Happy Birth-Day Dear Meeeeeeeeeee……

Happy Birthday to Me.

I did it – today I’m officially no longer a puppy (although mom still plans to use this as an excuse for virtually anything I do for at least another year or so). Today I become a man.

And that means gifts, as all of you dogs know. So mom brought out my big present… a FANTASTIC new leather collar!

I was starting to feel like she didn’t care much about my appearance lately as my old collar was starting to get a little ratty and small.

It’s a beautiful “cowboy cool” collar that she got from a really nice lady on ebay if you want one too (and I couldn’t blame you for wanting to look just like your idol)…

And what is the most important part of the birthday celebration – after presents that is? It’s CAKE, of course. Mom got me a bone-shaped cake from Three Dog Bakery and boy was I ready to chow.

Dad sliced it (after they sang to me) into little pieces so that I could eat it easily without dragging doggie frosting all over the floor….. mmmmmmmmm.

Damn tasty cake.

Peanut butter cake with yogurt frosting and carob writing – it even said Happy Birthday Bogart on it with two doggie paws!

Kafka the cat thought he’d get “in on the action”. Hell, I steal his food all the time so have a tiny piece my little buddy (and I mean a really small piece – more for me).

This is the resulting “cake coma”.

I ate nearly half the cake by myself and needed a few minutes to, uh, digest.

Then mom dragged me out of the house again, but this time I was really in for some fun… we went over to her friend Marieke’s house – the owner of my 3 favorite Airedales in the whole world!

I haven’t seen them for awhile so I admit that I was a bit, ahem, randy and my excitement and hormones went into overdrive (and yes, in true rock and roll doggie style when I was done humping I starting puking – too much cake and hormones). But that’s ok, they know me and still love me. And of course the fact that I brought them the rest of my birthday cake didn’t hurt…

I’m thinking that birthdays should be celebrated far more often than once a year. This one was FUN.

Love,

Bogart

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I’m the one with the funkier eyebrows.

Love,

Bogart

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Today both dad and I got our stitches removed! Mom got to watch both (she loves the gory stuff, she’s so weird sometimes) and she told me that I had been a better patient than dad was… to be fair he had a LOT more stitches than I did, but I had some on the top and bottom of my paw and he had some on both sides of his leg so technically I think we’re even. And of course he still has to wear that big blue bandage…

I’m waiting for a package that mom told me about – something about boots? – a present from grandma so that I supposedly don’t have to go through the foxtail surgery again anytime soon.

I have no idea what this means, I’ll have to reserve judgement (but not trepidation) about this until I know more.

Love,

Bogart

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Ah, the battery issue… AGAIN.

Yesterday as I was cowering in fear behaving bravely in the face of certain fireworks-related-danger there were plenty of opportunities for photographs.  Preserving my first Fourth of July on pixels.  Updating everyone on my continuing drama with the foxtails.  Showing what a scaredy cat proud pooch I was when the neighborhood was alight with color and those oh-so-loud noises that you humans all love to ooh and aah at.

But alas, mom was OUT OF BATTERY.  So today she got herself one of those newfangled rechargable batteries (because of course her camera doesn’t take the ordinary AA batteries like her old one did… this one only takes the new, more expensive, and okay longer lasting ones).   She’s charging it RIGHT NOW.  So in the morning there will be no excuses tolerated for having taken no photos of me for 2 days in a row.  Ever again.  No way.

I can see that these battery-things must somehow control the world.  It seems like so many super important things get interrupted when a device is out of battery.  I must investigate these powerful objects to see exactly where the source of their power lies, and find some way to use this to my advantage in the future.  I will get back to you with my findings.

Love,

Bogart

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Did you know that today is Franz Kafka’s birthday? When I first heard that, I thought that mom was talking about our Kafka – my orange tabby buddy – I didn’t know that there was a writer with the same name.

Today mom told me the story of how Kafka (our cat) got his name. Do you know the story that Franz Kafka wrote called The Metamorphosis? Well, apparently in it there is a guy named Gregor Samsa who wakes up one morning to realize he’s turned into a giant cockroach. And you know what happens to those big cockroaches – they can’t right themselves once they’re on their backs with their big ol’ bellies sticking out. Well apparently even as a tiny little puff of orange and white fur, Kafka had a knack for laying on his back with all four paws in the air and the belly that didn’t make it easy to right himself.

Kafka demonstrates this position for your viewing pleasure.

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Here I am illustrating exactly how filthy a tennis ball can possibly get at the dog park.  Just for the benefit of others, of course.  Notice the tongue…

I got to spend some quality time this morning with my buddies at the dog park… sorely needed as I’ve been cooped up for so long now.  And no sock to weigh me down!

Those fantastic Airedales were there which I love… it was really funny because mom kept trying to take pictures of them and…

This is what you get when you try to take a picture of an Airedale running toward you…

If you’re lucky you can get this lovely shot of their tail as they go by…

So sometimes it’s easier to focus on the doggies who actually sit still.  Like Miso, the French Bulldog:

Yes, it’s Miso’s world and we all just orbit around her greatness

And of course Buster, my best pit-bull friend

Time to sleep – again – it’s gonna be a hot one again today!

Love,

Bogart

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Which oh stitch?  The DAMN STITCHES IN MY PAW!!!!

Can you tell that I’m excited?  You should have seen me burst out of the vets office… they’re OUT!!!!

To celebrate we did a quick tour around the dog park – not too long because mom didn’t want to risk anything happening so soon after the stitches are out (hey, even I can’t argue with that logic).  And since it was later than usual I didn’t even see most of the dogs that I like to play with in the mornings, and the dogs I did see were grumpy and I had a few little tiffs.  So it was time to go.

Did I mention that I’m excited that the stitches are gone?!?!

Love,

Bogart

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Really looks like that, doesn’t it?

I sat back in awe as I watched my new friend Puddin’ dig this hole.  Deep enough for his entire body.  No kidding.  I mean it.

And then he wouldn’t let me in.

I like Puddin’.

Love,

Bogart

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