January27th
The Sony mechanical dog, Aibo, will cease production in March of this year.
I say good riddance. Even tho I would have liked to have been involved in the card game above (I think I could have taken ‘em), it’s time to get back to the basics – REAL DOGS!
Like me…
Love,
Bogart
January23rd
I’ve noticed something.
Most of the dogs that I’ve encountered here in Los Angeles look like giant, furry avocados.
The shape, I mean. Not necessarily the creamy green avocado goodness.
Most doggies are of indeterminate breed (although it’s hilarious when their owners try to tell me what the possibilties are) and a generic size – medium. Skinny legs. Weight, which generally falls into the large to extra large category. I call them “The Avocado Dogs”.
And they’re all shaped like avocados – small head, slim shoulders, then giant fat furry ass. With a big tail that wags their giant posterior whenever they walk or wag. Their owners usually tell me that they got them from an animal shelter which is a really really great thing, and that they’re really sweet dogs.
There is a great story that my mom and dad tell that helped me to formulate my California Avocado Dog theory. A friend of theirs had a dog named Sneaky. Sneaky was your classic Avocado Dog. He had short, stiff black fur like a big black kiwi. He was a sweet dog, with a large-sized belly and skinny legs.
Sneaky lived in a beautiful house in Echo Park where they had lots of fruit trees – lemons, oranges, and avocados. Lots of wildlife up there too that would enjoy running through the trees and snacking on fruit. Each summer, Sneaky would get very very fat, and then in the winter he’d go back to his standard avocado size. Now Sneaky wasn’t particularly agile – as all avocado dogs are not – so it wasn’t that he was exercising or yo-yo dieting. Mom and dad commented many times on how fat Sneaky would get in the summer, then relatively slim in the winter. Nobody knew why.
Well one day they saw something. Sneaky was stomping around the grounds, just being a happy avocado dog. They noticed that there were lots of almost-fully-eaten avocados on the ground and Sneaky was slurping on one. Ah, they thought, Sneaky must somehow be getting to the avocados each summer. But Sneaky, being a chubby pup, had no way to climb up those big trees, and he was too fat to just wait for any crumbs that fell off the tree on their own.
What was happening? Sneaky had a lot of time on his hands. He figured out when the squirrels would be most active in the avocado trees. Squirrels apparently like avocados too – just not as much as avocado dogs. In their eating of the avocados, Sneaky would wait for just the right moment to bark – thus startling the squirrels in mid-eating and allowing the tasty avocado to fall to the ground. Then the eating could commence in earnest. He would do this over and over until he was literally full of avocado.
Thus the shape of the great California Avocado Dog was secure. And it’s a great story.
Avocado dogs are usually really nice to me. This post isn’t a complaint or a slam or anything. Just something that I’ve noticed…
Love,
Bogart
January16th
OK, I think I have mom properly “educated” now.
She’d gotten waaaaaay too lazy lately about updating my blog. And she actually has some pictures that she didn’t post! No more excuses mom, I know you finally figured out how to work that silly new camera.
Bogie back in the drivers seat where I belong!
Love,
Bogart
January11th
I’m gonna have to kick mom’s butt…
She got a new camera and has been fussing with it for a few days now. It seems like she never has the right cable with her, or the right picture card, or whatever the excuse is today to post any new pictures…
I apologize for her impudence. She will be punished severely.
Love,
Bogart
January5th
Wait, am I in Berlin? Oh no that’s right, Berlin is one of the Los Angeles “sister cities”. Walking all the way up the hill made me just “think” I’d walked all the way to Europe…
Wow am I exhausted! Dad dragged my dale butt all the way up to Dante’s Peak just above the Griffith Observatory today. We’ve done this hike before, but today it was HOT here in Los Angeles, and even tho I’m a lot bigger than last time it’s still a loooooooooong walk.
Good thing that there is a doggie water station. I got dad to fill up a water bottle and squirt it into my mouth.
I’ve discovered another thing about myself… do you know when humans make a “kissing sound”, an extended pursing of the lips and sort of squeaking? That drives me insane. A Japanese tourist on the hill today did that and I went berserk and tried to get away from Dad. There is just something about that sound – I can’t put my paw on it – that makes me insane. It’s gotta be something deep in the DNA because everytime anyone makes that sound it’s like I become another dog – a completely untrained and insane beast – but I do stop quickly once the sound stops. Go figure.
Love,
Bogart
January1st
Mom and dad went to a party last night and I got to go too!!!
I know that they keep saying it’s good for me to go places, heck I don’t care, I just wanna go wherever they go… so it was off to a party at one of their friend’s houses in Hollywood. I was quite the center of attention, I always love that.
Unfortunately nature was calling, and I suddenly felt the urge to poop. Well you should have seen mom, she’s like a superhero – she got off the couch so fast (I didn’t even know that she could see me in the other room, she must have some special sense for that, I’ll have to make a mental note of that for the future) and grabbed my leash then came flying at me. She scooped me up in her arms and we ran down the stairs and outside. After a brief sniff of the neighborhood, I was able to relieve myself. Whew! Thanks for that one mom.
Then it was back to quesadillas and nachos! They have a very short table so it was easy for me to steal a few chips and pieces here and there. Dad was busy cooking while mom was talking with lots of people. I kept trying to lick all of the glasses that were everywhere, it was a new taste that I wasn’t sure of but thought what the heck, I’ll just keep on trying… but people kept pulling them away from me whenever I’d get in a good lick. Mom said it’s something about “alcohol” and that I can’t have any until I’m 18… well, I’m 18 weeks, does that count???
Then they tried to get me to wear a silly hat. I wanted to eat the silly hat. They managed to snap a quick picture of one hat before I began to eat it. So they tried another silly hat. That one wasn’t much tastier than the first, but hey a dogs gotta do what a dogs gotta do!
Happy New Year everyone (from Behemoth the cat too)!
Love,
Bogart
December23rd
From what I hear, lots of people but big giant trees in their house during this time of year. Seems kind of silly to me, they’re so pretty and great to pee on when they’re outside, but whatever.
Mom has a little one in her office that I believe is evil.
I don’t like it, I don’t want to be near it, I’ll run away if it’s near, I sleep with one eye open when I sense she is placing it near me. Absolutely no way you can talk me into liking it, no sir-ee. Mom wanted me to pose next to it but IT’S EVIL I SAY.
I have been reassured that my bitter hatred of this tree will not stop the presents from arriving on Sunday… but I’m still not going anywhere near it.
Love,
Bogart
December4th
Ok, I’m confused.
Today mom took me to Petco (as you know, one of my favorite places) to have my picture taken with Santa Claus. Since I know nothing of this person or this holiday (yet!), I was just happy to be going into the store. We got there around 9:30 this morning, because Santa was supposed to be there at 9.
There was no Santa Claus. There was no photographer. Just a lot of angry humans with their doggies. Apparently, Santa had been out on a bender (I understand this to be that he drank too much firewater) and the photographer left in disgust. Somehow the Petco employees were able to convince the photographer to come back again in a little while, but he had to stop and buy a Santa Claus suit. So we all waited.
There was Elvis the miniature Schnauzer, Ripley the fox-like mutt & Tara the Rottweiler, Gunner the Doberman, Nico the terrier-mix and others… We managed to have some fun while the humans yelled at each other. Everyone was friendly, mom had conveniently grabbed a bag of Charlee Bear snacks so we were busy feeding everyone while the dogs all ran around and peed all over Petco.
Finally the photographer arrived with – what mom says – was a lousy backdrop and no Santa. He set up and then a very glum-looking Petco employee stomped past us with a folded Santa suit in his hands. Uh-oh. We waited a little while longer and then finally Santa was ready.
The first few pets went up to take their pictures with Santa – what a mess! Santa didn’t have a chair and the backdrop was too short for him to stand up… The photographer really didn’t know how to pose pets with Santa (read: how to bribe us to look cute for a second). When it was my turn, mom was busy making sure that I looked adorable and she even didn’t yell at me when I bit the nasty Santa. Not hard, just a nip, because he was making my mom mad.
I think the picture that we chose was kind of nice – the photographer only took a few digital photos (now I’ve watched mom take pictures, and she’s muuuuuuch better than this guy!) for us to choose from so mom picked one and then we went up to pay for it. Then we found out that it’s going to be mailed to us! Mom was mad again because she wanted to put my cute face into everyone’s Christmas cards…. ah well, sorry mom, the world will have to wait for my cuteness!
I’ll post the picture when we finally get it. Right now I’m off with Dad to his friend’s furniture store, Sweet Smiling Home. It’s a really nice store, if you’re looking for Indonesian or Asian furniture they have really great stuff (mom and dad got their bed there, that I’m not allowed to sleep on… yet). I get to see Sophie the Dachshund so that should be fun.
Love,
Bogart
December3rd
Today it was decided that I was getting – ahem! – a bit “funky”.
All the time that I’ve devoted to rolling in mud and running through grass has paid off in a way I hadn’t expected… I was going to get my first real shower.
Mom and Dad went out and bought special shampoo for me (supposedly, my skin is a bit dry, whatever that means) and then I listened in while they discussed the best place for this grand procedure.
It was decided that I’d hop into the stand-up shower with Dad, and we’d take a shower together. Mom must have been in on it because she stood outside the door taking pictures of me through the glass and laughing at my plight. Dad soaped me up with the shampoo (ok, it does smell kind of nice) and the shower rinsed it away. It was fun because Dad was making it into a game for me, but still, it was all about a lot of water falling on me and lets say that while I didn’t absolutely hate the experience, I’m hoping I don’t have to do it again.
Ever.
But that’s not going to stop me rolling in stuff.
Dad dried me off with a big, fluffy towel (which is apparently now “my” towel – whee!) and then mom tried to dry me off with this blowy thing that blew warm air at me. I thought this was hilarious and proceeded to run all around the room, taunting her, barking at the blowy thing, and basically drying myself off in the process.
Humans. They’re so simple.
Love,
Bogart
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