OK, mama, I will pose with the pretty-lit-up tree. I won’t look directly at you, but I will give an obligatory look-the-dog-is-standing-next-to-something-mildly-interesting look.
BUT WAIT. The obviously intelligent makers of this tree saw fit to place a large bowl featuring PINE CONES in the center. Just far enough away that I can see and admire them, but cannot chomp them.
Although I am actively considering it. Really actively considering it. Perhaps once the holidays are over, I can make my move…