Apparently mom and dad went out for dinner tonight to a Mexican restaurant without taking me along. Yes I did everything in the dog handbook – looked up lovingly, went to grab my leash, sat and tilted my head to one side, even trying to squeeze myself between their legs when the door opened – but no luck. They still had the unmitigated gall to go out without me.
I spent a short time sulking after they left and then decided I must do something. I must teach them a lesson. This great injustice cannot go unpunished. It is simply unacceptable for them to go pretty much anywhere without bringing me along.
So I found mom’s makeup bag. Yes, her favorite one. Somehow she had forgotten to put it in her purse when she left. I very carefully nudged through the contents to find at least one treasured item – in this case a green eye pencil – and chewed it into oblivion. Then as I realized that it really didn’t taste that great (who says that revenge always tastes sweet? Sometimes it tastes kind of…. woody) I chewed the packet of Listerine breath strips. Mmm, nice and citrus-y. Then one more lipstick just to really drive the point home.
When they came in of course mom saw it immediately. At times it’s difficult for me to understand her – especially when she’s excited about something – so all I hear is “blah blah blah” and I just continue smiling and nodding my head until it’s over. She started picking up the pieces while dad brought out the doggie bag. Yes folks I knew that they wouldn’t risk complete destruction of the apartment and at least show up with the doggie bag.
It was just a few bits of steak and a nacho or two – but it was muy bueno.